The Show Dog Runs…

I take my dog to a nearby park every day for her walk. She is almost 13, and our neighborhood is very hilly. She gets around just fine, but the level paths at the park are much easier for her to navigate. She stills likes to chase squirrels and there are plenty of wide, open spaces at the park for her to chase them.

Claudia is a standard poodle. I let her hair grow kind of long in the winter and keep her ears groomed like other dogs. She’s a good size, about 50 pounds and the only concession I will allow to her “Poodleness” is a small, poof at the end of her tail. She’s been an amazing dog that we never had to train. She has always been a voice command dog; we do not ever need to leash her (although we do in strange surroundings). She follows me and watches me and never gets too far away when walking. If she needs a correction (which she rarely does) I give a quick command and she obeys. She will not touch any left out food and will only eat when you give her permission, including her own food. I have no idea why she is this way, she just is.

At the park, I enjoy meeting other dog owners and their dogs and I usually have treats in my pockets just for them (the dogs, not the owners). Last week I met an elderly man with his two, large breed dogs.

The first thing you need to know is that the man was from Connecticut (he told me that several times in the first few minutes). Is there something extra special about people or dogs from Connecticut? He was visiting his daughter and then he told me that his dogs were SHOW dogs.

Oh, I see….what?

He rambled on for a long time, while Claudia patiently waited about 15 feet away. She was sitting and following our conversation while his dogs sniffed about. He proceeded to detail the countless hours of training they had, how strict he and his wife were with their diets and how invested they had been with their careers. I listened, but I was really just interested in giving them loving strokes and treats.

His dogs were delightful; I’m not sure what they were (he told me one was an Egyptian something but he talked so quickly with so many words that it all just went in one ear and out the next).

One was 10; he looked like a big ole, brown hound dog, and had lost most of his eyesight. He became my new BFF when I gave him a treat. The other was 3, was large, white, and had terrier like hair. As I gave him a treat I was told that he was a champion! He was the big winner at Madison Square Garden three years ago.

After telling me that, the man finally paused to allow me to express my praise and amazement. I said, “Wow, a celebrity!” and I smiled (for extra emphasis).

Finally, the man noticed Claudia. He asked what kind she was and I told him. Because she was so patient, and was so observant he said, “It looks like she has had lots of training.”

I honestly answered, “No, she just came that way.”

“No, training? Not even as a puppy?”

“No.”

“How did you teach her to be off leash so nicely?”

“I didn’t, she just sits when I talk and follows when I walk.”

Then he asked how old she was. I told him her age and he was amazed at what good shape she was in. Then he tried again with, “I bet you watch her food pretty closely. She’s so fit.”

By now I honestly felt kind of felt badly when I said, “No, we really don’t. She eats what she wants and stops eating when she is full. She doesn’t beg and doesn’t often eat offered treats.”

Then we started walking. He explained what brilliant hunters his dogs were and how the white one and just caught a squirrel yesterday. He didn’t kill it (because of course, he KNOWS better).

Don’t get me started on dogs and squirrels. Claudia has caught several in her day and unlike the SHOW dogs, she kills them because she doesn’t know better, she’s just a dog. I freaked out each and every time but that is an entirely different story…

As we walked by the playground, I gave him a warning (as his dogs were unleashed –despite the two leashes in his hand). I told him that I always had to watch Claudia carefully at the far end of the park, near the street. It was a busy street and squirrels frequently ran from the park to the woods on the side adjacent to it. I joked that I felt like a Secret Service agent - always looking for squirrels and redirecting Claudia’s attention if I spotted any.

He kind of blew me off (after all, his dogs were SHOW dogs).

I wished him a good walk as Claudia and I picked up the pace. His dogs were off wandering in the woods and being rather pokey; Claudia and I like to WALK.

As we neared the street, there were several squirrels, with acorns in their mouths scampering about. Claudia was definitely interested, but I herded her over to the side closer to the pond and gave her a stern “no” when she looked like she would rather be on the side with her furry “friends.” We successfully rounded the danger zone and I set her off to the woods to look for some “playmates”.

Then I heard him. He screamed, “Get back here!” As I turned, I saw the white dog run after two squirrels and ran right across the street without a thought to the man. He chased them playfully and then just sat in the woods looking at the man who was yelling at him to return.

The man was a moron, even if he was from “Connecticut.” He was a Connecticut moron.

Two things: 1) Why would any dog want to return to someone that is screaming with such a loud and threatening voice? And, 2) Why was he screaming at him? He should have crossed the street with his leash and brought him safely back.

As he continued to yell, the dog eventually decided to return and you guessed it, right when a car was coming (exactly what I feared). Fortunately, the car saw the dog, and slammed on its breaks, narrowly missing him ( and no doubt a law suit).

I turned and walked on but when I looked over my shoulder both SHOW dogs were now on leashes.

Claudia kept exploring as I kept walking. She caught up to me and then ran off happily cantering across the baseball field.

OK, I admit. I was feeling smug. I couldn’t have been more proud of her than if she was a champion, at Madison Square Garden ☺

Let’s Go Back to Socks……

During the course of my life, I have experienced the magic of Christmas. Though, I admit, it was more magical when I was younger. Back then, it more about everything leading up to the day, rather than the day itself.

Christmas was a time where you really needed every moment after Thanksgiving.

You had the list to make - this took some serious thought and time to carefully peruse the toy section of the Montgomery Ward’s catalogue. By December, our copy was missing a front page, and was tattered and torn - the toy section most of all.

You needed to shop and pay attention to your school Secret Santa. The pressure to produce was excruciating. Sometimes, I just wrote a nice note and maybe included some candy leftover from Halloween (don’t judge). I always wanted to be known as a good giver – reputation was everything…..

There were cookies to help bake. The first few batches were fun to decorate. After the first five dozen though, my enthusiasm waned and the cookies looked more like they had been decorated during an adult happy hour. The frosting usually ended up all over my hands and face, and I hated sticky fingers. I think more than a few cookies had detectable finger prints on them…..God knows how many had my DNA…

Trimming the tree was always part of the “Christmas Magic.” My dad was in charge of the lights (and probably was the least qualified to do so). He got them all out and then started the detangling process. That could be a scary thing…..We all waited anxiously, as expletives were uttered and Mom reminded him to “watch it in front of the kids.”

Once the lights were put in order, we all held our breath as they were plugged in. If they lit up, we sighed with relief and the trimming process began. If they remained dark, we scattered upstairs like cockroaches to light. It was not a very special or magical thing to watch Dad unplug and replace the lights, one by one to discern which was the bad one (series string technology was a bitch). Some years, it ruined the whole process – Dad would storm off and we would carry on without him.

But when Dad was triumphant, tree trimming was the very definition of tradition. We always placed the tree in the hallway, so it could be seen through the glass front door, outside (creating a Norman Rockwell-ish feeling). At least, that’s the story I was told. Now, I am convinced it had more to do with the pillars leading to the living room. The tree never stood upright, and every year twine was employed to tie to a pillar to make the tree stand erect. My oldest brother always got to tie the twine. I was the youngest, so I really never got to do anything except what no one else wanted to do. It was the pecking order thing, and being the youngest, I never climbed….

My dad, with cigar in hand, and a cognac close by, would direct the process. My mom usually had nothing to do with it once we were all old enough to know not to eat the ornaments. I never knew what she did, or where she went, but now that I have raised two children to adulthood, I have a few guesses…..After placing her special china baby ornament on the tree she would disappear and reappear magically at the end to assign the job of returning the empty boxes to the basement. And, yes, it was usually my brother closest in age to me, and me . I hated that basement, but that is another story……

We had the favorite ornaments, and you guessed it, the oldest sibs put those on. I was relegated to the homemade ornaments that were falling apart. I was allowed to help with the candy canes, partially because there were plenty to go around. Candy canes on the tree were an absolute given. I was always shocked when I visited other homes with not a single cane on the tree. I was led to believe that it was a solid Christmas tradition, but then I was also told that too much TV made you go blind….

When the tree was completed, the mistletoe went up and Mom and Dad did their thing. I remember my teenage siblings avoided standing under it when opposite sex friends were around. My dad would never miss an opportunity to point it out, and he always chuckled when the embarrassed sibling uttered the inevitable, “Dad!”

Once the house was decorated, and we settled back into our routine, I fondly remember playing the guessing game with my brother and sister closest in age to me. One would pick an ornament and give clues until someone guessed the correct one. It kept us busy for hours (after all, too much TV made you blind).

Closer to Christmas came perhaps the single most anticipated event (except for the day itself) of the season. The day the caramels came from Nebraska. My Aunt Gloria made the absolute, most perfect caramels ever. They were soft, sweet and tasted of buttery goodness. I recall more than a few got stuck on the roof of my mouth and I became frantic, quite sure it would remain there for the rest of my life. They were rationed, locked up and they were heaven. Even as we got older and moved away, my mom loved to call us to tell us “The caramels came today.” The ones that wouldn’t make it home always had some shipped to them. But the rest always got their own stash. Naturally, being the youngest, I got the least (I’m sure it was equal, but it always looked like the others got more).

As I grew older, and had children of my own, the day naturally became all about them. The magic I experienced was through their joy, their excitement and their transparent glee as the days of December melted away to the number 25. Trimming the tree was fun, and the lights always lit up. They still became tangled, but I had control over it, so the experience was completely different from that of my youth (perhaps because cognac was not a part of the experience).

After having children, I eschewed the idea of presents. Having a birthday in December, getting presents seemed anticlimactic. So when family, friends or even co-workers asked what I would like, I always suggested socks. Socks were easy to shop for, inexpensive and practical. Socks became the go-to gift for me.

At first, it was funny to see what kind of socks people came up with. I had multiple pairs with the toes separated like gloves. They looked cool, but were very difficult to put on, and they felt much like it feels to wear thong underwear – awkward and unnatural. Then, came the exceptionally fluffy socks. They were comfy, yes, but I couldn’t wear them with shoes, and they made my feet hot and sweaty. Finally, there was a string of socks that looked like animals- again, funny stuff but not comfortable with shoes (although the dog did seem to like them).

So, I gently started to suggest Christmas ornaments….

As I trimmed the tree the other night, I vowed to tell everyone that I don’t need one more ornament – what was I thinking? I actually have a separate box just for Santa ornaments! I have Santa skiing, skating, vacationing – even rock climbing….I have multiple nesting Santas (the one where you open it, and another appears), I have Santa’s made of clay, cookies and felt and glue. I have Santas made of beads and glass, oh Lord, I have Santas, and I have enough. I also have a plethora of pine cone ornaments – who knew there could be so many…I also have plenty of cardinals on a log, hockey players, skiers, and sailors (my husband plays hockey and sails).

I even have a salmon ornament...and two of Texas?

I actually had a difficult time trimming the tree because I ran out of branches that didn’t already house an ornament – now that is too much.

I grumble about the tree every year, and threaten to do away with it. So, my husband has taken on the responsibility of getting the tree up – I trim it (at least we don’t need to use twine) because my children are away and busy….This year it took me a few days, with adult beverage breaks….but it’s up and looks great. I am feeling the mood, and waiting for snow. We do have too many ornaments…..I think I’ll go back to socks….but just the plain, black and blue kind (maybe a few tan or brown).

There's something strange going on at my house....

A lot of strange things have been happening around here….

Last summer, shortly after Meg came home from college, she woke up in the middle of the night to see her drapes fly up in the air. No window was open, nor was a fan operating. She was understandably shaken and, although I had no logical explanation, I told her it was just a “thing.” I said it was probably my dad, just having a little fun. For a few weeks she only used her room to sleep in; always hanging in the family room until the very second she went to bed.

A few weeks later, in late June, I was working out on my Stairmaster. The equipment is located on the bottom level of our home. Although it was warm outside, the AC was not on. I had worked up quite a sweat and was very warm when suddenly I felt a cool breeze come from the front and bottom of the Stairmaster. No possible explanation for it; it came from the opposite side of the room where the windows were, which were closed up tightly. The windows are rarely opened since they are on ground level and face the woods, making it easy to obtain access to our home without detection if left open.

I make sure they are closed.

I wasn’t worried or terribly concerned. I had no logical explanation but the breeze felt good and wherever it came from, it seemed to be from a good place.

Things seemed to settle after that and nothing defying logic happened. Then, in September, I was sewing in our sewing/hockey equipment room. As I was ironing a seam, and listening to the radio, the TV behind me suddenly turned on. It was not hooked up to any cable or box – only my son uses it to occasionally watch movies. I assumed I had stepped on the remote control and I looked for it, locating it on top of the bookshelf behind the TV. I had no explanation so I simply turned it off. A few minutes later, yep, it turned on again. I turned it off and this time I flipped the off switch on the power strip.

Whatever had caused it to turn on apparently was unable to master the power surge strip…success, score: Colleen 1. Ghost 0.

Then just a few weeks ago, I was tinkering with my daughter’s old phone. It had taken an unfortunate bath in a cup of soda early in the summer and had lost its ability to speak. Meg was only too happy to replace it with an iPhone and it joined the rest of our discarded phones in the junk drawer.

I know that phones are collected for servicemen, but I am reluctant to part with them and any data that may still be on them (it’s a privacy thing I need to get over).

One day, I decided I would attempt to retrieve the pictures on it to send to Meg. It took a while, but I did download the pictures and after completing the task, I powered off the phone and put it in the desk drawer. I moved on to other tasks and when I opened the drawer for something…..the phone was on. I had powered it off, not put it to sleep…..So, I powered it off yet again, and within seconds, it came back on. OK, at least I could chalk this up to the fact that the phone wasn’t well; it probably had a few shorts due to the bath. I removed the battery and went back to my business. I replaced the battery a few days later, and it hasn’t happened again.

The final incident occurred last week. I was cleaning dishes in the morning left from the previous night. As I rinsed a bowl, I heard a sound behind me and turning around, I watched in disbelief as an 18” high, Calphalon pan was spinning on my stovetop. Not slowly, not too quickly, just spinning as if I had just given it a playful swipe.


I have to admit, I am pretty nonplussed about any of these things. As long as whoever or whatever is doing it, isn’t doing anything to hurt me, I am game for a little fun.

After all, that cool air felt good, and I was hot….

I am used to things that go bump in the night. I grew up in a Victorian house in St. Paul with many rooms and just as many nooks and crannies. It was an awesome place for hide and seek and just as awesome a place for unexplained noises and thumps.

I always assumed it had ghosts on the third floor – several times I heard the scampering of childlike feet coming from the top floor. One time, when I was an adult, I had a friend over who heard the noises and she freaked. It really did upset her. I was so used to it that I simply explained that it was most likely ghosts. She wanted to leave the house and I admit, that surprised me. Growing up, our family lost four children to Cystic Fibrosis and I had always just accepted that the spirits or ghosts were my siblings. The feeling of them was always light, nothing I ever feared.

I often wonder why some people are so frightened of unexplainable phenomena and others are not. I love ghost stories. I often take a ghost tour when visiting a new town when vacationing. Besides being fun, they often give a great version of a town’s history. If you get to Boston – definitely take the tour!

I like the idea of the people I love, that have died, hanging around me. I really do feel them; I sometimes hear them out of the blue say something that is so typical of them, not me. Perhaps, it is my imagination, perhaps it is not. It is one or the other and I choose to believe that they are in the room with me.

Have you ever decided to do something different at the last second only to find that you avoided something dangerous?

Have you ever had something suddenly pop in your head and then in the next few minutes, you experience something that connects that thought?

Have you ever lost something only to suddenly see a picture of where it is pop in your head…and you find it, just where the image told you (happens to me all of the time).

Have you ever had a tough decision to make, and then suddenly and inexplicably, you knew exactly what to do?

When I was little, right before the teacher called on me to provide an answer (believe it or not, I hated talking in front of the class), my palms got sweaty. It only happened when I was going to be called on….weird.

I don’t know why things go bump in the night, or why things, which defy logic, happen….but they do. Some people fear what they do not know, some people chase it like a child chasing a butterfly. Some demand logical solutions, others simply shrug and accept it.

I say, “It is what it is.” Whatever that is……..

Are We Better Off Now.....

Yesterday I read of the closing of a landmark drive-in in the Twin Cities. My first reaction was disbelief and sadness. As long as the drive-ins remained, I still had a connection to the “good ole days.” I learned that the owner was selling so that a Walmart could be built. Walmart, really? We are giving up a piece of history for a Walmart?

I live in Minnetonka, very near where an old drive-in once thrived. It had been torn down to make way for a strip mall, which later, was bulldozed for a Target. I admit, I shed no tears because I was super excited to have a Target so close by. Heck, they even gave all the neighbors a measuring cup with a coupon for a bag of sugar…classy!

But anytime a Walmart is built makes me sad because I really hate Walmarts. I think they are depressing, disorganized and the combination of items they sell makes no sense – a swinging chaise for your porch next to an imitation leather recliner next to tampons……yikes.

But it got me wondering, are we better off today than in the “good ole days?”

Let me start with the drive-in. You know what? They really were not a great place to watch a movie. Sure, they were fun because you could sneak in and bring your own beer and all, but for watching a movie, they kind of stunk. It was always hot and humid and unless you ran the AC in the car the whole time, it was like hanging in a tropical rain forest. The mosquitoes were torture and there was no avoiding them for they had free access with the compulsory, open windows. You could close the windows, of course, if you were a very good lip reader.....Then there was the issue of the increasingly intoxicated people walking back and forth in front of your car. The snacks and bathrooms were a million miles away and no one ever stopped talking in the car while you were trying to figure out what was being said. The sound coming from the window speakers was like ordering at a Taco Bell where you understood only a few words out of each sentence. It was fun, yep, but it was not a great place to actually watch a movie. In my day, I think I went to a drive-in maybe once a summer. My son and daughter don’t even know what they are and I haven’t returned to one since high school. I imagine the current owner of the soon to be Walmart was having a hard time making it work. Don’t blame him really, I just wish he had sold to Target….

So what else do we miss about the “good ole days?”

My mom and I were talking about the roast chickens you can buy at just about anywhere (even gas stations). I buy them mostly to cut off the meat for my dog. I do sample as I cut and it is tasty! Dang, how do they do that? My mother claims she never roasts a chicken anymore because she can buy one at the store, which is cheaper, less hassle and it tastes better than what she can do. I often used those roasted chickens as my go-to dinner when the kids were little and time was short. How did my mother ever get by without roasted chickens? Or mashed potatoes already mashed? Or frozen garlic? Or prepared pesto? Wow, she must have spent her entire day in the kitchen because I take full advantage of all the cheats I can find at the grocery store. I love Costco for that reason. It is filled with delicious meals I just need to heat up, praise the lord and Costco!

My children still played the night games that I did when I was a child running amuck in St. Paul. Nothing too different there. They gathered at one house, planned the game and the teams, and then ended the night with a bonfire. Hey, we never had bonfires…..

They did miss out though, on pedaling to the store with a quarter and returning home with a bag full of penny candy. My kids grew up with no penny candy store and pedaling there would have been out of the question where we lived…the suburbs….(a place I had only heard about, but never ventured to as a child). Thinking about it now, I would say that’s a good thing because as an evolved parent, I now know how harmful sugar is. Unless it was a holiday or birthday, I would never have allowed the kids to pig out on a bag of sugar, goodness! Although the memory is sweet (pun intended), it probably is better that they made S’mores at the bonfire….. (remember, chocolate can extend your life).

So many things are different today than in the “good ole days.” We remember those days as golden but upon careful inspection, they come up a little short … how would we ever manage our lives without cell phones (pay phones were not fun and you risked your health talking on them), computers, the Internet, iTunes, IPods, iPhones, iPads, DVR’s, Netflix, reality TV (no judging), Sushi, microbrew beer, debit cards, broad band spectrum sunscreen, seatbelt with shoulder harnesses, online bill pay, spell check, email, video chatting…FACEBOOK!

I think the reason we liked those days really had more to do with the fact of how old we were then, rather than how good those days actually were.

I admit, I think I am better off today. However, I do think fondly on the days where I ran wild in the summer, got brown as a Hershey bar, never wore shoes and my parents had absolutely no idea where I was until I came home to the dinner bell each night. I survived.

Catholics and Politics, is a “Progressive Catholic” a Contradiction?

I recently read an article provided by a Father James Curran (via my cousin). It was written by Andrew Sullivan titled “The Republican Party Cardinal.”


http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/08/the-republican-cardinal.html


The import of the passage was to criticize the decision of Cardinal Archbishop Dolan, from New York, to give the benediction at the Republican National Convention. Traditionally, this job has been given to the local Bishop (whoever that is). Sullivan argues that for Archbishop Dolan to honor the request appears as “de facto endorsement” by the Catholic Church of the Republican Party. He warns that the Catholic hierarchy injecting itself into politics is a mandate to other Catholics to support the Romney ticket.

I had so many reactions to this article, where to begin….

I generally don’t concern myself with issues pertaining to the Catholic Church, because although my parents attempted to raise me Catholic, it didn’t stick. When I was 13, they threw up their hands and gave up trying to force me, or any of my siblings to go to church. There were six of us and today, only one considers herself a practicing Catholic. Oh well.

I have many problems with the church (too many to go into in a blog) but I can narrow it down to: 1) That nasty business with priests and altar boys and how it was handled, 2) Its stance on abortion, 3) Its stance on gay marriage, 4) Its stance on stem cell research and quite frankly, 5) The Biblical miracles just don’t work for me…..

Although I don’t support the Catholic Church, I support its right to exist and to believe what it believes. I have deep respect to the fine work it does on behalf of the poor and indigent. I acknowledge the comfort and community it provides and the church and I can agree to disagree. I have been fortunate to have known several members of the church and have respected their intellect and compassion.

Although they all share a common faith, they are not cookie cutter stamp-outs, all come with their own, unique personalities and perspectives. I respect that individuality and I respect the right of members to do and say what they feel appropriate. So if Archbishop Dolan wants to go pray for the Republicans, I say, “Go for it!” If Father Andrew Sullivan wants to post an article condemning Archbishop Dolan, I say, “Go for it!”

My point is, if one has the right to criticize, then the other has a right to pray for the republicans. Free speech works both ways and last I checked, priests, bishops, archbishops, nuns etc. are still citizens and do have the right to free speech, right? They vote, right? Their votes are still private, right? If CEO’s can come out in support of either party, why can’t an Archbishop (although he hasn’t, he just agreed to say a prayer for them because that’s what Archbishops do)?

OK, really. Is ANYONE surprised that the Catholic Church sides with the Republican Party? Anyone? Speak up. Please, this is not an unexpected news flash, or frankly, an earth-shattering event. I admit that there are a number of practicing Catholics, priests included, that don’t share 100% of what the Pope dishes out. They call themselves “Progressive Catholics.” That’s fine, although this article made me wonder if that isn’t a contradiction?

E J Dionne, author of “Why Americans Hate Politics” and on staff at The Dept. of Government at Georgetown University, says,

[The] “Catholic Church’s teachings do not map well, or at all, with the particular way in which American partisan positions have developed…”

Dionne accused bishops of being too cozy and criticizes them for engaging directly in politics. However, he signed a letter on behalf of ninety Georgetown faculty members approving the Bishop’s response to criticism of aspects of Paul Ryan’s budget. Hmmmm.

Hey, wait a minute, by signing that letter, isn’t he engaging directly in politics? Huh (as I scratch my head)….

OK clearly, this letter is partisan. No biggy as I see it, he has every right to do it, except then, bishops have every right to call things as they see it as well. What’s good for the goose…..tit for tat, turn about is fair play…you see where I’m going, free speech and all…

“Progressive Catholics” is a term used by many practicing Catholics to describe their brand of Catholicism. It is a way to express their differences they have with the church. The very issues above I also expressed (which, is why I am not a Catholic). I get where they are coming from, and except for their shared belief in the Catholic Church, I am right there with them, they are my brothers and sisters, hallelujah! Only problem is (and it’s a biggy) is that it doesn’t pass the “Catholic test” or, to translate, the Pope begs to differ.

GK Chesterton describes Catholicism this way:
“Catholicism is an accumulation of tradition including a magisterium that does not waver from the fundamental truth as divulged in the teachings and life of Jesus.”

OK, I admit, I had to look up “magisterium.” It looked like a cool word that I could use another time to impress people. Sadly, I doubt I will ever use it again. It means the teaching authority of the Catholic Church, and yikes, that sounds very serious and Pope-like. But it does kind of lay out what I have always felt about the church - I don’t think you can pick and choose; it’s an all or nothing package. It is what it is, and you can like it or leave it, just don’t expect it to change.

Chesterton also suggests “to import the political term [Progressive Catholic] for the description of Catholics is to collapse the Church into a political program that cannot be reconciled to the Catholic worldview.”

Wow. I’ll sum it up (because that’s what you do at the end).

If an Archbishop wants to appear at the Republican Convention, I think he should. Yes, it looks like an endorsement, but so what? Who is really surprised by that? Does that mean the religious hierarchy has to follow his lead? Nope, they get to make their own decisions and if they want to test the political waters, be my guest. But I also think that if you call yourself a Catholic, you are a Catholic. You don’t get to choose your own brand of Catholicism. Agree to disagree, sure, but the term “Progressive Catholic” seems to be a contradiction.

Please, No More Politicals Meme's.....

I like teams. I like the feel of being on a team. Of course, the only team I have recently experienced was a charades team and alcohol was definitely involved.

I remember the elation and relief I felt when my team finally shouted, “Steven Corey,” only to learn that the correct word was Covey (I still say the word looked like Corey). I guess I need to read more self help books, because I had no clue who Steven Covey was. It was all in good fun, and I now own a copy of Steven Covey’s book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (number one habit should be to clarify spelling when playing charades). I have not read a word.

The point is, being part of a team feels good. I could not have been more proud of our country during the Olympics this summer. I am ashamed to admit that daily I checked the medal count and sneered and snickered when the US overtook China (I still am gloating). Teams are great.

However, lately, I feel like politics is more about the “team” than the issues. This election is making me feel like the kid who was never picked for a team in grade school. I don’t fit it, and I am not ready to join a team.

I watch as Facebook is flooded with a new phenomena called memes. I recently learned that it is not so new although as it is defined by the internet, it is relatively new. According to Wikipedia, (no judging) a meme is: The term "Internet meme" refers to a concept that spreads rapidly from person to person via the Internet, largely through Internet-based email, blogs, forums, Imageboards, social networking sites, instant messaging and video streaming sites such as YouTube.

If you haven’t noticed the ubiquitous little photos of Romney and Obama, with text splayed across it to convey a conveniently inaccurate and misleading message, then 1) You have not been paying attention, 2) You are technologically impaired (congratulations), 3) You have forgotten your Facebook password, or 4) You have Facebook friends that are keeping it classy (congratulations).

There are even places that you can go and create your own meme. Doesn’t surprise me. I don’t like these. They REALLY bug me. Lately, it has bothered me a lot and I have devoted some serious thought as to why I hate them so much and why this election has been bothering me more than politics usually bothers me. I have some answers.

The Memes bug me because they are so dismissive of the issues. They divert your attention away from the issues and everyone coalesces around comments intended to sidetrack your thoughts. Take the Meme of Obama above. Seriously? People are STILL throwing the idea that Obama is not a citizen around? Puh-leeeez, he has been president for almost four years people, I think that train has left the station. And the one of Romney, I guess being wealthy is a sin and no one should be president if they are successful because they are out of touch, right, got it. Although, I do admit, I would rather have a president who has been successful.

I think I have figured out why these things are so widely used. It’s kind of like being on a team. It makes it easier to dislike or like someone without knowing anything about them. You pick a side and then hurl Memes around on your Facebook page and wait for people to Like it or comment.

I think they are destructive. It spreads fallacies and distorts truths (ok, the truth is, I kind of like the ones with housewives making comments about wine).

It makes it easy for critics of Obama to believe he has no right to be president (he does) and critics of Romney to believe he is out of touch (believe me, the guy knows about money). I absolutely hate political memes.

It makes it so hard to decide which team to join, because when I vote in November, I will be picking a “team.”

Here’s my problem. I think Obama is the guy for me if I am going to vote with my heart on gay rights. He’s the guy most likely to sign national legislation to allow gay couples to enjoy the same civil rights heterosexual couples have. You can talk to me until the end of time about why you may disagree, but I will never understand why gay couples are treated differently than my husband and me. Never, don’t bother, ain’t going to happen. My mind is made up, the ship has sailed, blah, blah, blah. I also like a few parts of Obama Care. I disgaree with how it got passed, rushed through Congress while many representatives and Senators were at their cabin, but that’s another story. I like that my son and daughter can remain on our insurance. I like that insurance companies cannot cap benefits and I like that they cannot deny people with pre-existing conditions. The rest of it needs some serious reworking because the tab on it has already doubled and it has not even taken effect yet…

I don’t like his jobs record, his stimulus spending, his proposed tax increase on couples making $250,000 a year and I absolutely hate his strategy of pitting one class against another. Millionaires and billionaires (wish I was one), represent about 1% of our population. They make about 17% of the total income of the US and pay about 37% of the taxes (I did look into this and wrote down the numbers but sadly, not the source. I didn’t make this up and I actually went looking for something else and found this statistic). If we taxed the millionaires as Obama would suggest, it would not make a dent in reducing the budget deficit. And if people don’t think it would make a difference in how they invest in the economy then they are not understanding how the economy is driven. Don’t take my word for it, there’s a lot of empirical evidence out there. My question is why would Obama spend so much of his time on this issue if it will do nothing to solve the budget issues? As a matter of principal? Frankly, I would rather he focus on something a little more tangible. He could start by submitting a budget; it is four years late.

Now Romney. He seems nice, articulate, whatever. He brought RomneyCare to Massachusetts. He has been a successful business man and saved the Olympics. Yes, he outsourced jobs and closed down plants. He can be ruthless in business decisions. I have to admit, I am not opposed to a leader that can make hard choices and take the heat. He has a plan and I am ready to look. He is a Mormon, but religion is a personal matter and not a reason to pry into a candidate’s life. I frankly don’t get the Mormon church, but I also don’t get the Catholic church, so his religion is not an issue for me (unless he decides to take another wife). He wants to put the government on a diet and invest in the economy by letting you and I keep as much of our money as possible and decide how we want to spend it, sign me up.

His views on gay couples, research on stem cells, and women’s reproductive rights trouble me. I support a woman’s right to make reproductive choices about her body. I will support those choices as strongly as I support civil rights for gay couples. However, I don’t think we should make people who don’t support that choice pay for the consequences of those choices. I think insurance should cover birth control, but I don’t think the government should be in any way involved in those costs. I think sexual education should be definitely taught in schools and all young women and men that are of reproductive age should be given access to any means to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. I support stem cell research and although I recognise that it can be a “slippery slope,” I turst in mankind and believe that it will maintain the dignity of life. I think the Romney team would differ with my beliefs.

Now, which “team” should I join? I apologise to my cousin, Robert, for ignoring the Libertarian candidate, Gary Johnson. He seems like an ideal choice for me, I agree with a great deal of what he believes. From the Johnson web page:

“(Johnson) has been an outspoken advocate for efficient government, lower taxes, winning the war on drug abuse, protection of civil liberties, revitalization of the economy and promoting entrepreneurship and privatization.
As Governor of New Mexico, Johnson was known for his common-sense business approach to governing. He eliminated New Mexico's budget deficit, cut the rate of growth in state government in half and privatized half of the state prisons.”

I have just a couple of problems with him, but they are big ones…1) Foreign Policy – he has kind of an isolationist approach which I disagree with and 2) I don’t think he has a chance of winning. I want to be on a winning team!

Seriously, I am definitely a fiscal conservative. I don’t carry debt more than 30 days, I price shop everything. If I have a designer anything, my mother bought it for me. I drink Black Box wine, and I install my own light fixtures. If something needs painting, I do it, and we maintain our own lawn and driveway. I hate spending money unless I have to and I really wish our government felt the same way.

I do not believe that all Republicans are rich and mean. I don’t think they are snobs or condescending and believe that men are superior to women. I don’t think that all successful people are out of touch and I don’t think that all Republicans believe that corporations are the “American Way” of life. I think many are compassionate, caring and generous.

I do not think that all Democrats are liberal wackos. I don’t believe they all live in communes and advocate for government intervention from birth to death. I believe that like Republicans, they want to work, have children if they choose, support their neighbor in need, and pay their fare share. I don’t think they want a free ride and I don’t believe that all people who accept welfare, unemployment assistance and food stamps are lazy. I think many are compassionate, caring and generous.

I have a feeling I know which team I will end up on (kids, never end a sentence with a prepositon). I will kick my toe in the sand as as I join it, knowing that it isn’t everything I wish it could be. I will not post political memes on Facebook, I will not add inane comments which do not represent truths or facts. I will not make sweeping generalizations about the other team. I respect a person’s right to choose as long as I am given the same respect. I appreciate that priorities differ from person to person and one person’s perception is different from another’s.

If we can make it to November with civility and NO MORE POLITICAL MEMES, I will be one happy camper. Just play nice ( and don’t post without checking your facts). Think before posting, and thank-you.

Minnesota, Identity Crisis?

I live in Minnesota. Most of the time, it suits me except perhaps in December/January and July/August. If you have ever visited or lived here during those months, you know what I mean. A line from a song in The Music Man sums it up....We can be cold as a falling thermometer in December if you ask about our weather in July......

So, I like it here. Yes, we do have lots of lakes which are pretty and entertaining. We have recreation, shopping, art, theaters, great restaurants and high taxes. But, I'm not going to comment on the latter. The purpose of this rant is to vent my distaste for the efforts of a group of people who wish to constitutionally limit marriage to between an opposite sex couple only. This proposed amendment will appear on ballots this November for the citizens of Minnesota to decide.

I admit, my initial reaction to this insane endeavor was.....drum roll....."Huh? I don't get it." I really didn't undertand the need. We already had a discriminatory law on the books forbidding it. So now we need to make a constitutional amendment forbidding it? Seems like overkill and money which could be better spent. I know, like paying off the Republican Party's debts! Brilliant. I bet their creditors would support that plan.

Nope, people were determined to put a stop to the potential that someday we would realize the errors of our ways and rectify the situation and allow any couple to marry, or unite in a civil ceremony, or whatever name one wants to call it. Personally, I am OK with calling ceremonies performed in a church, marriages and ceremonies outside the church civil unions, because that's what they are. Heck, my husband and I actually, have a civil union. We were married in a house with a judge. I'm OK with that. It's just a name. A rose by any other name.....

So why do people think it is OK to forbid two people from making a commitment and living their lives just as heterosexual couples do? I really don't get it. I have tried to figure it out and see the other side, but I am stumped. I think about a lot of things, but worrying about members of the gay community marrying isn't one of them. Here are the issues I do ponder:

Nutcases that go online and buy 6000 rounds of ammunition to kill innocent people.

Pornography, it drives me crazy and don't even get me started on what I think of it from a moral standpoint.....

State governments that withhold money from schools to balance their budgets. Grr.

Planes flying into buildings (I think that will stay with me forever).

Drunks that drive and continue to drive, even after they kill people.

Government agencies that think it is in a child's best interest to keep him or her in a dysfunctional family after suffering abuse.

Dog food made in China and imported to the US.


I am more concerned about dog food from China than I worry about gays being married. I actually do think about that a lot (I even make my own chicken jerky)!

To be fair, I did a little research because I just couldn't grasp why some people are so against gay marriages. I checked out a few sites but really, they made me laugh because they were so ridiculous. Saturday Night Live writers could have a field day with the things written on these sites.

Let me add something to my list of things to ponder:

Crazy people that think allowing gay marriages will lead to unions between men and dogs. I am seriously worried about these people. Yikes.

Ok, on to some more mainstream objections:

It would be incompatible with Christian, Islam and Judaism values.
Well, sure, but so what? If the people involved have no problem with that, why should I? Frankly, there are many things that are against Christian values but still exist. Pre-marital sex, adultry, stealing, cheating... Plenty of folks that do those things are among those vehemently codemning gay marriages. Hmmmm.

It would infringe on religious freedom.
(Cue: crickets chirping for a few seconds) I'm still trying to figure that out, give me a few more minutes...OK, I've got the solution! Ta Da! It will be called Separation of Church and State! What? Already on the books? Oh, you mean we can't force priests to marry gays in the Catholic church? OK, I guess that's something for individual religions to consider, not us. Great, I'll move on (phew, 'cause that one baffled me).

It could lead to multiple marriages.
OK, I think I am reasonably intelligent, not a genius, but I can figure out a few things. This argument has me just as baffled as the church thing. Frankly, I just don't see the logical connection. This is also the line of thinking that suggests it would lead to marriages between brothers and sisters and yes, even men with dogs.

(The reason that these people scare me, is that they cannot see how insulting this reasoning is. Comparing two committed gay men or women to a relationship between a human and a dog is outrageous and appalling. My only response is that I sincerely hope that some day they will show up in an ER to have their lives in the hands of a gay doctor or nurse.)

It will erode the institution of marriage.
My marriage is great and I am not threatened whatsoever by what happens in other marriages (actually, I am more concerned that married, straight people having mutiple affairs will spoil the institution).

So, what really has me baffled is what a dichotomy Minnesota is; if it was a person, I would strongly urge therapy. Minnesota is the state that has the distinction of the longest run for voting for a democrat for president. It hasn't voted for a republican since 1972. It holds itself up as a progressive state - it has light rail, recyling, top notch education, fabulous child care, healthcare, a ton of bike trails, heck, it has rent-a-bikes! So how can this community which embraces so many great things condemn gay marriages? Some people are playing both sides.......

Minnesota you are having an identity crisis. Get over yourself by November please.




Recipe for Chicken Jerky for Dogs:
Take some chicken breast and thinly slice. Place on a cookie sheet lined with no-stick tinfoil. Pop into 210 degree oven for approximately three hours. Ta Da! I keep it in a baggy in the fridge (don't worry about how long it lasts, your dog will finish it up faster than you can say,"Bob's your uncle").

You Didn't Build That

I am really angry with something the president recently said. At a political rally, he went off the teleprompter (bad idea for any politician) and announced to small business owners, "You didn't build that." I am also profoundly insulted that Obama dares to let government take partial credit.


OK, he was talking about the whole "It takes a village" thing that became so popular during Hillary Clinton's presidential run. Yeah, yeah, we all need people...(cue Streisand's "People Who Need People"). Um, duh. Yes, the government did build the road that takes people to your business because THAT'S WHAT GOVERNMENT IS SUPPOSED TO DO. It is called providing infrastructure, defense, justice, and education (which I think is included in infrastructure, yet I mention it so people don't think I am forgetting it). I am sure I am neglecting some very important roles and services, but I think these listed are the key ones. That is the role of government - it doesn't get to take credit for what lies at the end of that road.


I'm not sure what Obama was thinking but pissing off the people who provide the bulk of US jobs and taxes, is not a good idea for a guy that wants to keep his job for another 4 years. Is he mad at small businesses? I used to think that Romney supporters who said that Obama and the left wants every citizen to be dependent on government were over reacting and over simplifying. Hmmmm, I think I need to rethink that because Obama's comment sure does support that thought.


Does Obama remember what America was built on? Do Ellis Island and immigration and mom and pop shops ring a bell? The Land of Opportunity, does that ring a bell? Henry Ford and the age of industrialization? Breweries in the midwest, restaurants and theaters on the east coast, the film industry on the west coast, the mining, fishing and forestry throughout the country. I apologize for generalizing but seriously, what has made this country great and culturally rich has been the small businesses born of hard work, creativity, and risk that have thrived and grown and even diversified. Businesses that came from people who came from diverse countries formed the melting pot, otherwise called the United States of America, and are the boss of the man who has just told them that they did not build their businesses. Really?


But I get where he is going with his comment. He is reinforcing his underlying campaign theme of creating class warfare and it is so misguided. Both parties want to be "the friend of the middle class." The right side says it will do it by creating a climate which encourages business,(tax cuts and less regulation). The left will do it by helping businesses with loans and stimulus money and will go after those greedy, money loving CEOs and Wall Street hedge fund manipulators. They are going to MAKE THEM PAY. This attitude will get everyone so fired up that they will march in November and re-elect Obama. Brilliant plan.


OK, I am going to admit here that I don't really care much about anyone else's taxes, except mine. Sorry. As a family, like many people, we work hard and I want the Crawfords to keep as much of our money as we can. We are not rich, and we don't fall in the category that would incur more taxes if Obama has his way and makes the rich pay their fair share. Strange, but I already think that the rich in this country pay a boatload of money, And here's a fact, if Obama has his way, and makes the rich pay more, it isn't going to amount to even a tiny drop of the national debt and will do NOTHING to help us out of our economic woes. So why are we getting our undies in such a bundle over this issue? Because class warfare works.


I would prefer that both sides work toward strategies which will help put people back to work.


Both Obama and billionaire Buffet paid a smaller percentage (not a smaller amount) of taxes than their secreteries. That is outrageous...right? In this country capital gains (which is how the super rich get rich and STAY rich) are taxed at a lower rate than income which is earned. Capital gain is income which results from successful investments. You put $1000 into a business or fund and at the end of the year it might be worth $1030 (if you're lucky with today's rates, but that's another story). That $30 is called a capital gain and it is taxed differently than the income you report from your employer. Why? It is not to reward the rich. The US taxes capital gains at a smaller rate to encourage people to invest. We need investors to grow businesses and many investors take a loss when businesses fail. There is risk, a lot of it because statistically, most new businesses fail. So why would anyone in their right mind pluck down money to invest if there is good chance they will lose it? Because if it succeeds, then they get to keep a little more of their money by paying less in taxes.


So, if we decide to close that loophole, and hike the rate that the super rich pay, what do you think will happen? I can't predict the future but I can say what HAS happened in the past when you take more money from businesses. They tighten their belts, because yes, like me, they also want to keep more of their money. And, the number one way to "tighten their belts" is to layoff workers. Businesses are concerned about making money and that's not a dirty, immoral thing. It's called capitalism. There is no better incentive than money - it's what drives people to risk everything, work 80 hour work weeks to make a business successful. And, if they are successful, they make other people successful as well.


My father stared a distribution business when I was a young child. I remember how stressful,scary and risky it was. My mom had been a stay-at-home mom that suddenly had to become the only wage earner. Dad borrowed money from the bank, depleted their savings, cashed in stocks and took a very big risk. He worked morning until late at night getting it started. We rarely saw him those first few years and when we did, he was tired and stressed out. I would NEVER do what my father did, I simply don't have that risk gene in me. Thank God he did though. The business succeeded and soared. It grew and he employed many people. His business supported many familes, and paid the government a "boatload" of taxes over the next few decades. He was a great employer that rewarded hard work and was generous to his employees; when the business did well, so did they. It was a risk that paid off big time. My grandfather and even grandmother started businesses (independently of each other, although they were married). I am proud to add that my grandmother did it as a woman in the 30's and she did it all herself. If you have ever eaten at The Lexington restaurant in St. Paul, than you have seen firsthand her success! The government was not part of any of their business plans, trust me.


Ok, about now some of you are probably comparing me to PollyAnna and thinking how horribly naive I am. Haven't I read about the banking industry? Don't I know how greedy and awful CEO's are? Every day there is a new story about how some business screwed up and screwed their workers. Not all business owners operate as benignly as my father did. I get that folks, I am not going to campaign for big businesses and I will concede that a lot of them are mismanaged, terrible places to work. I get it, I really do, I am not covering my eyes to any of that and there is plenty of blame to fling around both to the left and right.


If anyone here thinks I am a member of the Romney camp, think again, I have serious issues with him and the right. I remain an Independent and can't stress strongly enough that they must get out of people's private lives and stay out.


My intent is simply to point out that small and even large businesses are not bad because they make money. People who become rich off of hard work, and smart investing are not bad people either. Taxing the rich sounds so dang good, much like scratching an evasive itch. However, it isn't going to make even a negligible dent in solving our economic problems (and most likely will do just the opposite), yet it seems to be the focal point of the upcoming election, and I am sick of it. I feel like a mother yelling at her children.


I can hear my own mother from the past... "Stop it, both of you. I don't care whose fault it is! You are BOTH wrong. You need to stop fighting and get along, she's your sister!"

Mountain Dew Glow Stick

Wow, great idea!

Cool Fence