Family Values, *&$!@$

Today I listened to a radio show interview with a former GOP party leader. She was forced to step down last fall because it was learned that she was having an affair with a staffer. The topic of “family values” came up briefly during the interview but thank God, did not dominate the interview (to be fair, she did not bring it up). Today I had an "aha" moment because I realized just how sick I am of that phrase.

Can I just say one thing to ALL politicians and just about anyone involved in politics (besides you should have your head examined)? Please stop talking about "family values." Stop saying you stand for it. Stop using it as a banner you wave outside the campaign office. Stop wagging your finger at people who make mistakes. Stop. Just stop.

For the record, I am going to just say right now that I think politicians and government should let families sort out their values themselves. Let families figure out their priorities and not people running for political office.

I like values as much as most people and I think our family has exemplary values - we are upstanding people. We dot our i's and cross our t's. However, I am sure there are many fine families out there that have different priorities, different values and are just as wonderful as us.

I married an awesome man, and raised two fine children to adulthood. All are caring, responsible people who make this world a better place to be. I have dear friends that chose same sex partners, and they also make this world a much better place to live in. I have friends who made difficult choices (quite different than I would make) under circumstances very different from mine and I am in no position to judge. I trust people to choose for themselves and I am secure enough in my own choices to know that their choices do not affect my life.

People love to hold up the Cleavers as an example of a bygone era identified by "family values." Weren't things great back then? Families ate together and Ward never spanked - he only had to let Beaver know how very disappointed he was and Beaver instantly caved. June was always home, ready to greet the boys when they ran through the kitchen door with freshly, baked cookies. She never raised her voice and Wally and Beaver never argued. Wally was always there to help the Beaver...it was the epitome of "family values."

Except it was all fake, right down to the pearls June wore around her neck (and Beaver never actually ate his brussel sprouts).

I grew up during that time, and my recollections were very different. We had a large family and we only ate with my parents on Sunday nights. We were too busy to wait for Dad to get home besides, we were too many people to fit around a table every night. My parents opted for a more harmonious experience sans the arguing and flying forks. Dad never got "disappointed" he got angry, and the cookies we ate came from a box, which came from a store (we actually preferred the "store bought"). My mom didn't wear her pearls during the day and dresses were for Saturday nights. As for my siblings, let's just say I am grateful I survived.

We did go to church, usually, and sometimes we all went together! But to be honest, church participation was spotty after we entered our teen years. You know, I can't recall if the Cleavers attended....

Make no mistake; I am not attempting to make light of the idea of “family values.” I think values are essential to the stability and success of a family, and especially, community. It is absolutely crucial to impart to your children (if you choose to have them) a sense of values you find important. Instilling a moral compass in our children is paramount in creating people that will successfully carry a society into the future. We like values, to be sure and we made sure our children knew them.

When they were little, they once commented on a strange person wandering the streets, loudly talking to himself. I reminded them that God loves everyone equally. In God’s eyes, they were just as lovable as that man. Sobering words for small children. I’m pretty sure at the time, they thought I was mistaken - but they knew where I stood.

We told them not to lie, even if they thought they could get away with it. The consequences for lying were always worse than for the transgression they committed.These two lessons, don’t judge and don’t lie, will take you pretty far in life and they probably cover just about everything a child needs to know.

We were far from perfect, but we tried very hard to model our expectations and I think they turned out pretty good.

So how did this idea of “family values” creep its way into politics? I know the party responsible, but I think both political parties use the phrase to each’s advantage. The Tea Partiers use it as a rallying cry against same sex partnerships and abortions. The Dems use it to vilify anyone that has affairs, cheats, or even for those who are a little too religious to suit the left leaners. It is hurled at anyone in either party that screws up, even if they have never uttered the phrase “family values.” Each continues to point the finger at each other.

Can I be granted two wishes?

I wish this phrase would disappear from politics.
I wish politicians would stay out of our personal lives.

Newsflash to politicians: I don't care where you stand on "family values." It is none of your business (or my business) the choices families make. You can't legislate your brand of morality. I will not vote for you because you stand for "family values," and I may even vote against you because of it.

Get righteous about the budget...