My Happy Place

I'll admit, I like Facebook. I haven’t reached the level of contempt and disdain that others apparently have about it. I often hear people complain, and others swear that they are done and are going to delete their account. However, I still enjoy the communication it affords me. I like having the ability to sustain connections with people I otherwise would never maintain contact with.

I like posting pictures, and animal stories that make me cry, checking in when I am on the run, sharing amusing things which make me laugh, and I like the freedom to say what I have on my mind. I enjoy the pictures people share, especially the ones of children and animals. I am certain that not every one of my friends always cares about what I am posting, but so what? If they don’t like it, they can just scroll on by, no harm done.

I don’t like to use Facebook to express my political opinions. Oh sure, I might click on a like button once in a while or make a comment about someone else’s posting, but rarely, if ever, do I post about a current, political issue.  If I feel the need to comment on someone else’s posting, it isn’t to propagate my personal beliefs, but rather to point out something in the post I feel is wrong or misleading. I am polite, factual, and as brief as I can be, at least I try, to be polite that is.  

I have opinions, yes. To be sure, I have strong feelings on certain issues, and I feel I am right. But the purpose of posting my heartfelt opinion is moot – I would never be able to change anyone’s mind because other people with a disparate opinion think they are right also. Frankly, I am not even sure I would want to change their mind.  I don’t consider myself a member of any particular party. I do not agree with the totality of any one party’s platform. I easily lean both right and left and sometimes, I sit on my virtual fence.  I know how I feel about some issues in general, but I am open to evaluating dissimilar ideas.  I am far from perfect and that is exactly why I avoid stepping into the political arena on Facebook.  

I have friends who are just the opposite. From the content of their Facebook page, it appears as if the sole basis for why they post is to express political opinions. Fair enough.  Just as I like to keep things neutral, they like to use it as a virtual Speakers’ Corner. And I think that is just as valid a reason for using Facebook as mine. To each his own. Fortunately, Facebook allows us to choose what we don’t want to see just as easily as what we like to see. If I don’t like someone’s postings, I just eliminate it from my feed.

That isn’t to say that I eliminate the people I disagree with, far from it. I actually enjoy the postings that are wildly different from my opinions. Some make me laugh, some make me think, and some make me search for more information. I appreciate these postings and think of them like collecting coins or pebbles - some are more fine than others but collectively, they make a nice assortment of things to ruminate on.

What I don’t like are the postings that make a broad sweep of any one group and then proceed to deride that group, often under the guise of a “joke.” These are comments, which originate from a pack mentality, and are comparable to something frequently heard on a grade school playground. These comments are oftentimes directed at religious groups, political parties, a particular sex, a state, or even a country.  If you belong to a stated group, then you are laughed at, insulted, put down, intimidated or otherwise offended.  My problem with such comments is that it is insulting to assume every member of a group thinks alike, as if there can be no differentiation of thought.

Not all Republicans are rich, greedy and unethical just as not all Democrats disregard the value of hard work, independent thinking, or entrepreneurship. Not all Catholics believe that birth control is evil or that gay marriage will destroy civilization. Not all Muslims are terrorists, nor are all women who wear a burqa unable to think for themselves or feel demeaned. And finally, not all illegal aliens are here to get everything handed to them. I hate comments that assume every member of a group holds the same opinions, behavior and motivation, and I dislike very much any comments that are intentionally insulting.

If I ever wanted to convince someone that my way is the right way, I wouldn’t do it by hurling insults. The only thing that accomplishes is to create a deeper divide and strengthen animosity. It is dismissive of larger issues and creates divergent paths, not allowing for dialogue.

I work in a school, a school that works tirelessly to prevent bullying and to create a safe environment for children to learn and exchange ideas. As a community, city, state, and country, we strive to wipe out bullying and discrimination. Though not always successful, we continue our efforts. I have seen insulting postings from people who if asked, would condemn bullying and say that they have worked to extinguish it. Then they fire up the computer and just do it in a different forum, but it is still bullying. I suspect, they don’t see it as bullying because they get so many “likes” on their postings and so many like minded comments. So if all of your friends think it is OK…..sound familiar?

Go ahead, post an opinion on Facebook, be angry, and cry out about things you find outrageous.  It’s OK to be mad about a news story, a political event or a politician even, and it’s OK to use Facebook to comment and tell your friends. But people, please leave the insults out. I want to hear how you feel but if you make insulting jokes, comments or post rude pictures, I won’t be your friend anymore…….

Facebook is my happy place and I intend to keep it that way.

News Alert: Christmas is Over, St. Patrick's Day Approaches!

A friend recently commented on why it was so long between my last posting and my current one. I answered, “I guess I wasn’t inspired.”  I realize how idiotic that response was. Over 365 days, and nothing inspired me. Obviously, I have not been paying attention, but recently I have noticed something …Why on Earth are Christmas decorations still up?

I will explain how it works at our house (as I am charge of all things Christmas). The lights go up whenever there is a warm weather opportunity within a few weeks of Thanksgiving. They do NOT get plugged in until the official start of the holiday, the day after Thanksgiving (don’t even get me started about stores and people that fudge that start date). Our lights are proudly displayed throughout the holiday season, which ends the day after New Year’s, at which point the plug is pulled. I will grant some leeway for the white lights if it is: 1) cold, and 2) snowy. Once the snow and cold moderate, turn off the lights, thank-you.

I think there are homes in Edina that must be competing for how long they can leave their lights up. Seriously, it is a land that time has forgotten; you would swear Christmas is just around the corner, with so many light displays still burning brightly. I made a snide comment last week and my son immediately defended the ones with “white lights”  as being OK in the winter. No, unless you are serving dinners on your patio, just no. Lights are wrong when approaching April.  I don’t even like the red ones for Valentine’s Day or the green ones for St Patrick’s Day. Lights are for Christmas. The reason they are pretty during the holidays is because they are special, as in DOESN’T HAPPEN OFTEN. If we keep lights up until spring and beyond, then it isn’t special at Christmas. I blame these selfish, light hoarders for ruining the “Christmas Spirit” for the rest of us.

It isn’t as if we have had a winter like LAST year. Last year, I understood, everyone understood, you would have to have been from Mars (or Florida) to not have understood. I couldn’t blame anyone for not wanting to step foot outside in the God-awful, frozen tundra.  So no, I don’t really fault anyone for leaving them up, but then simply unplug them, how difficult is that? When illuminated in March, I can only conclude that these people are lazy. Don’t they see them? Aren’t they embarrassed?

As if the lights aren’t enough, I have noticed two other holiday displays still in place as recently as today, and in my own city!  One, a display of wooden cutouts of Santa and Mrs. Claus, and a few other figures, life size no less, and the other is another festive garland of fake pine boughs and festively bright, red bows adorning a charming picket fence spanning a few hundred feet. Both of these holiday trimmings took a great deal of effort to install (more than I would expend), so clearly, these people have had periods where they have experienced bursts of energy. Why have they not noticed what month it is, and if they are aware that St. Patrick’s Day is next week, why are the adornments still adorning?

I know that it is none of my business, and I will not say a thing to them, write them a discrete note, look up city statutes, or even gift them with one of the many calendars I received from Christmas. I will simply pass by, bite my tongue, and maybe silently ask St. Lawrence (patron saint of the lazy) to give them a nudge.

The F Word(s)

I have learned. After LAST winter, I have experience. I know how to survive (and I know the correct prayers for no snow).

To survive winter, the key is in the F word or words….Fleece, Flannel and Fire.

Fleece – I bought a Fleece jacket at the U of Michigan M Den. I was cheap, so I bought it from the boys’ section. One of the benefits of being a short person, is that I can buy products from the boys’ section for much less money. In the winter, I wear this jacket about 80% of my waking hours. I confess, I have two jackets, both equally warm, but one has bright yellow shoulders and is a bit flashy. I wear it only while in Michigan or on game days, cuz, well it is game day so people here need to deal.

Flannel – A few years ago, I made myself some flannel PJ’s, not the granny style, but the kind with a top, jacket style, and a separate bottom. Folks, these are warm, warm warm, and the beauty of it is you wear a tank underneath so it is comfortable while sleeping, just ditch the jacket.  I go from my fleece, to my workout, then to my flannel PJ’s. Very Minnesotan.

Fire – Best home improvement we ever did was to install a gas fireplace. I love wood burning fires, but I am terrified (and would worry endlessly) of a creosote fire happening from the buildup and I am not a fan of cleaning out the c*$p in a fireplace, not to mention the mess, and the smoke, and the danger. With the gas, you just turn it on and get warm. Did I mention the remote control?

As winter is finally loosening its grip on us, and spring is within reach (a possible 50 by next week), I realize that I haven’t complained once about this winter. I have survived nicely, the anti-snow prayers have been most effective, and I have found the F words get the job done.  As spring approaches, here is what I am most looking forward to:

Sunsets that you can actually watch and savor

Sleeping with the windows open

Long days and nights

Bonfires

Biking, oh, I have missed biking

Eating outside at restaurants

The sounds of children playing in the neighborhood (and even the fights, I like those very much)

The sounds of birds, owls, squirrels running through the woods, coyotes (when they're nice, and not  chewing cats), and the odd ramblings of wild turkeys

Color in the landscape, especially green (have you ever noticed that in winter on cloudy days, there is no color outside? Everything is gray, a little brown and white)

Lilacs

The first dandelion (makes me giddy, for real)

The smell of cut grass

Getting a new dog (I sure miss Claudia; this will be the first spring without her)

Thunderstorms

Activity on the lake involving boats and swimming and not shacks (good grief)

Margaritas and Gin and Tonics

Planting and smelling dirt

Talking to neighbors for longer than a quick wave and a hello

Grilling

Baseball games

How about you?