Monday, March 9, 2015

News Alert: Christmas is Over, St. Patrick's Day Approaches!

A friend recently commented on why it was so long between my last posting and my current one. I answered, “I guess I wasn’t inspired.”  I realize how idiotic that response was. Over 365 days, and nothing inspired me. Obviously, I have not been paying attention, but recently I have noticed something …Why on Earth are Christmas decorations still up?





I will explain how it works at our house (as I am charge of all things Christmas). The lights go up whenever there is a warm weather opportunity within a few weeks of Thanksgiving. They do NOT get plugged in until the official start of the holiday, the day after Thanksgiving (don’t even get me started about stores and people that fudge that start date). Our lights are proudly displayed throughout the holiday season, which ends the day after New Year’s, at which point the plug is pulled. I will grant some leeway for the white lights if it is: 1) cold, and 2) snowy. Once the snow and cold moderate, turn off the lights, thank-you.

I think there are homes in Edina that must be competing for how long they can leave their lights up. Seriously, it is a land that time has forgotten; you would swear Christmas is just around the corner, with so many light displays still burning brightly. I made a snide comment last week and my son immediately defended the ones with “white lights”  as being OK in the winter. No, unless you are serving dinners on your patio, just no. Lights are wrong when approaching April.  I don’t even like the red ones for Valentine’s Day or the green ones for St Patrick’s Day. Lights are for Christmas. The reason they are pretty during the holidays is because they are special, as in DOESN’T HAPPEN OFTEN. If we keep lights up until spring and beyond, then it isn’t special at Christmas. I blame these selfish, light hoarders for ruining the “Christmas Spirit” for the rest of us.

It isn’t as if we have had a winter like LAST year. Last year, I understood, everyone understood, you would have to have been from Mars (or Florida) to not have understood. I couldn’t blame anyone for not wanting to step foot outside in the God-awful, frozen tundra.  So no, I don’t really fault anyone for leaving them up, but then simply unplug them, how difficult is that? When illuminated in March, I can only conclude that these people are lazy. Don’t they see them? Aren’t they embarrassed?

As if the lights aren’t enough, I have noticed two other holiday displays still in place as recently as today, and in my own city!  One, a display of wooden cutouts of Santa and Mrs. Claus, and a few other figures, life size no less, and the other is another festive garland of fake pine boughs and festively bright, red bows adorning a charming picket fence spanning a few hundred feet. Both of these holiday trimmings took a great deal of effort to install (more than I would expend), so clearly, these people have had periods where they have experienced bursts of energy. Why have they not noticed what month it is, and if they are aware that St. Patrick’s Day is next week, why are the adornments still adorning?


I know that it is none of my business, and I will not say a thing to them, write them a discrete note, look up city statutes, or even gift them with one of the many calendars I received from Christmas. I will simply pass by, bite my tongue, and maybe silently ask St. Lawrence (patron saint of the lazy) to give them a nudge.

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